Dear Tax Collector Man,

You keep sending me letters in the mail with a bright yellow box that says “Amount Due”. I curiously scanned through the pages and I am left wondering to myself why I owe you any money when I don’t actually know you or recall buying anything from you. Why is it you want another $200 from me? We can’t be friends if it is only one way like this. See return address so that you can participate in this relationship and start sending me some money!

Sincerely,
Law-Abiding-Citizen

Now, I accept that I am naive, I accept that I enjoy my head in the sand, BUT, when I keep getting bills from a Mr. Dan McAllister I start to get a little upset. As I am writing this, I am call number 22 in the que trying to get some answers. See, Mr. McAllister thinks that because I have a boat that I have a little extra money I should be giving him. He so kindly refers to this as a “luxury” tax. I would appreciate him sending me a little money as a thank you for stimulating this economy by owning the vessel. So the reason I am a bit peeved is because I swear I already paid this man for my luxury (oh wait, hold on, I am now caller 21 in the que). I now have to figure out how I can prove to Mr. McAllister that I no longer own the boat he is now charging me for (in fact, we sold it in 2007!). I of course don’t have any thing that proves I don’t own the boat in question, so I sit and I wait to speak to someone who probably will transfer me to someone else who will then reroute me to someone else and somewhere in the mix my call will get dropped because my patience will have run out.

… I am now caller 12 on the line (15 minutes listening to elevator music)…

-Tiff